Shikai:
Shikai Release Command: Denki o nagasu (電気を流す - Electrify)
Shikai Appearance: Tsumi Kai's shikai takes the form of two swords. These swords are somewhat short in length. The blades are a metallic silver. The hilts are a black metal with at the tip a rubber coating. Each individual blade is split down the middle, this cause electricity to pulsate between them.
Shikai Powers:The power of this shikai allows Tsumi to build stacks of electrical charges, each level of stack improves Tsumi Kai in some way. Tsumi builds stack by using abilities, clashing swords with another metal or sword, this includes clanking his swords together and by moving his swords around in a circular motion to charge the stacks (Tsumi cannot use attacks whislt doing this). These stacks only stack while in shikai or above state, they do not stack in sealed state. Using abilities does not consume stacks. These stacks are at 5 charges, 10 charges, 15 charges, 25 charges, 40 charges, 100 charges and 200 charges.
At 5 charges Tsumi become resistant to all electrical currents. All electrical based abilities are reduced by two tiers.
At 10 charges Tsumi gains to ability to electrically charge conductive materials and has the power to keep it charged so long as he is in shikai form. If an opponent comes into contact with a material, the opponent will be unable to remove their part of the body from that material for one turn (e.g. holding onto and electric fence). If the object is a flat surface the part of the body that came into contact will be paralyzed for one post. If the object is touched a second time the effect is double. If its touched a third time it is doubled again and so on.
At 15 Tsumi Zanjustsu is improved by +1.
At 25 charges Tsumi's Shikai has the ability to paralyze the target upon contact. All paralysis lasts for one post. This follows the zangutsu site teir guide.
At 40 charges Tsumi's Sūpāboruto now becomes Dāku inazuma. This has the same properties as Tsumi's Sūpāboruto but due to charge 15 it has a Zanjustsu strength of +1.
At 80 charges when Tsumi's abilities come into contact with their target, it causes them to have muscle contractions. This cause that part of the body to become paralyzed for the next post. If it is a direct hit to the heart it will cause the organ to shut down causing a heart attack. If it comes into contact with the opponents Zanpakutō then the site tier rules apply. This would apply to the opponents Zanjutsu ability against said powers rank.
When transforming into shikai state Tsumi has a small ball of lightning energy above himself, when at 200 charges this ball is at its maximum power and can be discharged at his will. The ball explodes and fires off electrical energy in 36 directions for 50 metres. This just means that the first bolt is fired from where Tsumi is facing and every ten degrees from that point around his body. If hit by a bolt, the bolt has the same effect as being hit by Dāku inazuma at twice its power. If this ability is achieved and used it will consume all the current charges and reduce it to zero.

Shikai Abilities:
Name: Torimaku ( 取り巻く- Enclose )
Type: Supplementary|Bakudō
Rank: Apprentice
Range: 20 metres
Duration: 2 posts
Cooldown: 6 posts
Description: Tsumi casts a cage of electricity around the target causing them to be bound to that spot for two post. The ability can be cast up to twenty meters away. The ability lasts for two posts and has a six post cooldown. This technique follows the site tier rules. If the target trys to escape via force they will be paralyzed.

Name: Sūpāboruto (スーパーボルト - Super bolt)
Type: Offensive|Zanjutsu|Hohō
Rank: Zanjutsu - adept, Hohō - Apprentice
Range: 50 metres
Duration: Instant
Cooldown: 3 posts
Description: This ability is an offensive Zanjutsu and Hohō technique. Tsumi quickly moves his sword tip in the direction he wants the lightning to shoot out at. whilst still firing the bolt he can change its direction. Simply lowering his sword will cut the 'power' to the bolt leaving the bolt to travel in its current direction. As it is a Zanjutsu sword swing ability it has the power of that level, but moves at the speed of his Hohō ability.  Dāku inazuma is the next level of this attack which causes the bolt to hit with +1 in Zanjutsu.  This technique follows the site tier rules. If this ability comes into contact with a target it will cause paralysis at the point of contact.


Name: Shōgekiha (衝撃波 - Shock Wave )
Type: Defensive|Bakudō
Rank: Apprentice
Range: 5 meters
Duration: 3 post
Cooldown: 6 posts
Description: While using this ability Tsumi charges his power into his blade causing it to be coated in lightning. Tsumi then stabs his sword into the ground causing a shortwave of thunder. This is followed by Tsumi being surrounded by a dome lightning which attacks as a force field and knocks back any attack that is weaker then the ability. If this field is touched it will also cause paralysis. The shock-wave and dome have a five meter radius. It cannot be passed through unless first destroyed or the duration has ended. When Tsumi has 5 charges he can pass through the field.

Shikai abilities ready.

Alright lets start this off.
Although it has required build up first I am not entirely keen on the amount of passives it gains the longer you fight. That part I will discuss with other staff on.

As for your moves. You swing a bolt of lightning. That moves at hoho speed? Again not entirely sure but I will have to discuss with the other staff.

third. One of your moves is a copy and pasted technique everyone can use. Gonna check around on it but I am pretty sure that won't be allowed.

And fourth. You already asked for a boost in your passive. You don't get a second boost. At least not in shikai.

Alright after some deliberations here is what has to be changed.

First. You sit in one spot and wiggle your sword for charges. Please make it on contact building charges. clang together if your must. Rub them with love.

As for 5 charges. Immunity is not allowed. Resistance is fine but immunity is not ok.

As for 10 charges thats fine. Electricity would normally travel through conductive materials. Of course that needs to also follow the damage tier system.



at 25 charges. I can't agree with this. You just made yourself immune to any sword swings.

at 50 charges you only get a plus 1 in one category in shikai max. those are the rules.

at 100 charges. This one has good points and bad points. First. If you stab a person in the heart they are dead anyway. However a non direct attack to the heart hitting the heart I can not allow. I can lot allow you to stab a lung and give them a heart attack. The electricity can still be damaging but no specific organ failures unless with a direct hit.

At 200 charges. Let me see if I understand this. You can discharge 36 attacks every turn in virtually every direction from you at twice your own power. I can't allow this as a passive unless it restarts the charges after being fired one time.

Torimaku ( 取り巻く- Enclose ) its fine except for one detail. How does it detain for three but only last two?

Sūpāboruto (スーパーボルト - Super bolt) will need to be altered after your passive but so long as its no higher then your lesser ability in rank its acceptable

Inazuma senkō (稲妻閃光 - Lightning Flash)~ We will allow it but as this is copy and pasted from another technique you will not be allowed to use that other technique.

Boruto (ボルト -Bolt ) even though its only one post you already asked for a stat boost in your passive. We can not allow these stacks in shikai. Only one stat boost at shikai allowed.

Bump

Alright so we just need to define some things
First how resistant are you? two tiers?
Second anything on this that says paralyzing. I need to know how long it paralyzes.
and charging conductive materials. I understand what it means but what kind of damage can it do if say they are touching the conductive material?
and lastly. What is Dāku inazuma.? I don't see it clearly defined anywhere.

bump

Alright sorry to disappoint but your shikai doesn't level technique wise with you. change anything that levels with your zanjutsu. Otherwise you go hey im transcender electricty is completely void now.

So. What that means is you can make electrical attacks drop two tiers in effectiveness against you. not your zanjutsu level. that means if it hits you it does less to you.

another thing. conductive materials do not follow and level with your zanjutsu. State the amount of damage as 2nd degree burns on contact. or something to that effect.

keep at it. your almost there.

Okay i think its finally ready.

BUMP!!!!!

that last technique is defensive magic.

bump

Tsumi Kai wrote:Shikai:
Shikai Release Command: Denki o nagasu (電気を流す - Electrify)
Shikai Appearance: Tsumi Kai's shikai takes the form of two swords. These swords are somewhat short in length. The blades are a metallic silver. The hilts are a black metal with at the tip a rubber coating. Each individual blade is split down the middle, this cause electricity to pulsate between them.

Spoiler:

Shikai Powers:The power of this shikai allows Tsumi to build stacks of electrical charges, each level of stack improves Tsumi Kai in some way. Tsumi builds stack by using abilities, clashing swords with another metal or sword, this includes clanking his swords together and by moving his swords around in a circular motion to charge the stacks (Tsumi cannot use attacks whislt doing this). These stacks only stack while in shikai or above state, they do not stack in sealed state. Using abilities does not consume stacks. These stacks are at 5 charges, 10 charges, 15 charges, 25 charges, 40 charges, 100 charges and 200 charges.
At 5 charges Tsumi become resistant to all electrical currents. All electrical based abilities are reduced by two tiers.
At 10 charges Tsumi gains to ability to electrically charge conductive materials and has the power to keep it charged so long as he is in shikai form. If an opponent comes into contact with a material, the opponent will be unable to remove their part of the body from that material for one turn (e.g. holding onto and electric fence). If the object is a flat surface the part of the body that came into contact will be paralyzed for one post. If the object is touched a second time the effect is double. If its touched a third time it is doubled again and so on.
At 15 Tsumi Zanjustsu is improved by +1.
At 25 charges Tsumi's Shikai has the ability to paralyze the target upon contact. All paralysis lasts for one post. This follows the zangutsu site teir guide.
At 40 charges Tsumi's Sūpāboruto now becomes Dāku inazuma. This has the same properties as Tsumi's Sūpāboruto but due to charge 15 it has a Zanjustsu strength of +1.
At 80 charges when Tsumi's abilities come into contact with their target, it causes them to have muscle contractions. This cause that part of the body to become paralyzed for the next post. If it is a direct hit to the heart it will cause the organ to shut down causing a heart attack. If it comes into contact with the opponents Zanpakutō then the site tier rules apply. This would apply to the opponents Zanjutsu ability against said powers rank.
When transforming into shikai state Tsumi has a small ball of lightning energy above himself, when at 200 charges this ball is at its maximum power and can be discharged at his will. The ball explodes and fires off electrical energy in 36 directions for 50 metres. This just means that the first bolt is fired from where Tsumi is facing and every ten degrees from that point around his body. If hit by a bolt, the bolt has the same effect as being hit by Dāku inazuma at twice its power. If this ability is achieved and used it will consume all the current charges and reduce it to zero.

Shikai Abilities:
Name: Torimaku ( 取り巻く- Enclose )
Type: Supplementary|Bakudō
Rank: Apprentice
Range: 20 metres
Duration: 2 posts
Cooldown: 6 posts
Description: Tsumi casts a cage of electricity around the target causing them to be bound to that spot for two post. The ability can be cast up to twenty meters away. The ability lasts for two posts and has a six post cooldown. This technique follows the site tier rules. If the target trys to escape via force they will be paralyzed.

Name: Sūpāboruto (スーパーボルト - Super bolt)
Type: Offensive|Zanjutsu|Hohō
Rank: Zanjutsu - adept, Hohō - Apprentice
Range: 50 metres
Duration: Instant
Cooldown: 3 posts
Description: This ability is an offensive Zanjutsu and Hohō technique. Tsumi quickly moves his sword tip in the direction he wants the lightning to shoot out at. whilst still firing the bolt he can change its direction. Simply lowering his sword will cut the 'power' to the bolt leaving the bolt to travel in its current direction. As it is a Zanjutsu sword swing ability it has the power of that level, but moves at the speed of his Hohō ability.  Dāku inazuma is the next level of this attack which causes the bolt to hit with +1 in Zanjutsu.  This technique follows the site tier rules. If this ability comes into contact with a target it will cause paralysis at the point of contact.


Name: Shōgekiha (衝撃波 - Shock Wave )
Type: Defensive|Bakudō
Rank: Apprentice
Range: 5 meters
Duration: 3 post
Cooldown: 6 posts
Description: While using this ability Tsumi charges his power into his blade causing it to be coated in lightning. Tsumi then stabs his sword into the ground causing a shortwave of thunder. This is followed by Tsumi being surrounded by a dome lightning which attacks as a force field and knocks back any attack that is weaker then the ability. If this field is touched it will also cause paralysis. The shock-wave and dome have a five meter radius. It cannot be passed through unless first destroyed or the duration has ended. When Tsumi has 5 charges he can pass through the field.

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